Friday, May 8, 2009

Dreaming of Cancer Walks

I try to be sensitive to other breast cancer survivors. But, I have never been an advocate of the whole pink ribbon & sistership rah-rah breast cancer thing. IMHO cancer is ugly and life changing. No amount of pink fluff and ribbons can change my reality.

I sometimes get the sense that all the pink crap provides people with the convenience of compartmentalizing a serious chronic disease with a "sisterhood" facade. Does that really make it easy for some people? Good for them.

Two weeks after I completed RT in early 2007, dad was dx with colon cancer. It has been a long and hard road for dad.

Family support has been minimal & I have lost the respect of my brother, maternal aunt/uncle and my own legal profession for choosing to put my life in a different direction as I literally save my dad's life.

People I thought were friends ignored me! How odd.

Those who have not cared for an ill parent consider the choice to caregiver as an excuse to be irresponsible. I even had a very good therapist in Chicago tell me that he sympathized that I would inevitably have to put dad in a nursing home. That was over 2 years ago.

Maybe if I just layed on my bed and cried then I was using dad's illness as an excuse to avoid life.

But I take graduate level medical classes to educate myself. I also have been extremely involved in bugging elected officials to GET A CLUE ---- no Medicare for all. It's just plain dumb.

Anyway, I would have never walked iin a breast cancer event. But I would LOVE to be "fixed" enough to run in an ACS cancer relay for my dad.

Dad & I ran together before we got sick.

But I seem to have trouble finding a doc who will complete Duke's work on me after the damage by Carle Clinic Association's Dr Chris Dangles. Duke' s Dr Allison Toth declined to help me after I asked her about the recommendation she gave to completely cut the nerve.

Thanks to the orthopedic profession, I cannot walk in an ACS event for my dad. That makes me more sad than all of my painful falls and accompanying loc.

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